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Being FAT and facing it.
Confessions.
Since the secondary school days, I have always been on the "bigger" size, though I exercise daily, and have home cooked meals every single day except for recess-es/lunch when I am in school.
As I was of a bigger size, I was always being teased of being fat, being called names such as fatty Mitch fatty bombom, giant, fishball and etc. Friends laughed at me when I was enrolled into the then "Trim & Fit" aka TAF Club, I had no one to eat with and always end up scrambling to the library and stay there till recess is over. Besides teasing me, those classmates of mine, loved playing pranks and creating troubles for me so that I will be accused, or get humiliated. Well..they know who they are, one of them even tried apologizing to me over the then popular MSN messenger when we graduated, but the emotional damage is done.
So the next few years, I spent time dealing with my weight issues beside my school work and part time job. I lost here and there but end up putting them back on, still I was a sizeUK 10-12 then. It was a torturing cycle. For the entire 3 years in Poly, I did a very low carbs intake diet ( it maintained my weight through those years +/- 2 kgs), tried a few lost weight loss treatments/programs but never succeed in losing those fatty weight.
Others might just think that I gave up on my weight programs because she is lazy and all she have are excuses. I don't deny the fact that I will feel a little lazy when I am to do my exercise routines, but I did them still, I will also not deny the fact that I have not much of a determination as I was in my so called "serious" relationship to me, which I end up finding out that I got cheated by that man for the 3 .5 years we were together, who has been using me and also went around telling tales after we have broken up.
After the broke up in Sept 2009, I actually lost 8kg within the next 2 months and went down to a size 8 for 3 months (This was the period I first hit the clubs.. at age 20.. and went diligently every wed/fri/sat with my gfs and I never ever had more than a sip of alochol because I am allergic to alcohol)
This is year 2009 Xmas Night
The only full body shot of mine in year 2009
End of year 2009
Then the weight suddenly came flying back to me by March 2010 which I put on unconsciously around 15kg.. which was a very bad thing because I am putting on weight too fast. I also met my current boyfriend (who also put on weight ever since we got together,sigh!) around then, and over the years put on even more weight..probably because of the increased food intake.
This was us when we first got together in 2010.
Now in 2013, I am a size UK 14-16, sometimes 18 for smaller cuts and can you please imagine my pain in buying clothes and dressing up? My gfs complained that I am always in black dresses, black tops, black skirts, black pants and ALWAYS IN BLACK, well truth being I am really very uncomfortable in colourful clothes. My family especially my parents have been nagging over the years that I am growing bigger, and I should cut down on food intake or do more exercises.. I swear I tried and failed, very disappointing I know, because no one is being more disappointed than me.
The truth is I did not have much of a motivation and determination and I LOVE FOOD VERY VERY MUCH. I had to work to earn my own money and attend school and projects, and also I was running very low on $$ to purchase any more programs or products that at times I wish I can just write in and beg someone to sponsor me the products or programs and I will give them the rights to publish/write about my progress for their advertising or marketing needs for FREE if it truly works and shown. But no I did not manage to find the courage to do so except for today now after so many years of procrastinating, I want to be a better me, I got enough of it! If there is anyone out there who is willing to take a chance on me, I am willing to listen, to do and work my best because I really need help!
Losing weight to be seemed so impossible and no matter what I do, I just only gain and gain and GAIN weight! I will also let on to another health issue that weigh gain has caused me.. which is irregular menstrual that I went to see a private gynae who gave me some advices to lose weight and to be on a pill which I lost 4 kgs and had a monthly abnormal period which only last a day or two. After 1 year of being on the pill, I decided to stop the pill because I read that some girls actually died because of this pill and it was banned in some countries since 2013. I am glad that I managed to have my very first normal 5-6 days period the month after I stopped the pill since March 2013 and during this 1 year I have maintained the lost of 4kgs.
Many have given up hope on me, many told me just be me and stop worrying.
But for my sake, for myself, I would like to make a change.
If you know any diets or exercise regime you can advise me on without heading to the gym if possible* as I am too embarrassed still (sorry I have very low self- esteem at the moment).. email me at miixue@gmail.com <3
Labels: fat, losing weight, tcm, weight gain, weight programs, weight treatments
Old things | New things
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<3 Being FAT and facing it.
Confessions.
Since the secondary school days, I have always been on the "bigger" size, though I exercise daily, and have home cooked meals every single day except for recess-es/lunch when I am in school.
As I was of a bigger size, I was always being teased of being fat, being called names such as fatty Mitch fatty bombom, giant, fishball and etc. Friends laughed at me when I was enrolled into the then "Trim & Fit" aka TAF Club, I had no one to eat with and always end up scrambling to the library and stay there till recess is over. Besides teasing me, those classmates of mine, loved playing pranks and creating troubles for me so that I will be accused, or get humiliated. Well..they know who they are, one of them even tried apologizing to me over the then popular MSN messenger when we graduated, but the emotional damage is done.
So the next few years, I spent time dealing with my weight issues beside my school work and part time job. I lost here and there but end up putting them back on, still I was a sizeUK 10-12 then. It was a torturing cycle. For the entire 3 years in Poly, I did a very low carbs intake diet ( it maintained my weight through those years +/- 2 kgs), tried a few lost weight loss treatments/programs but never succeed in losing those fatty weight.
Others might just think that I gave up on my weight programs because she is lazy and all she have are excuses. I don't deny the fact that I will feel a little lazy when I am to do my exercise routines, but I did them still, I will also not deny the fact that I have not much of a determination as I was in my so called "serious" relationship to me, which I end up finding out that I got cheated by that man for the 3 .5 years we were together, who has been using me and also went around telling tales after we have broken up.
After the broke up in Sept 2009, I actually lost 8kg within the next 2 months and went down to a size 8 for 3 months (This was the period I first hit the clubs.. at age 20.. and went diligently every wed/fri/sat with my gfs and I never ever had more than a sip of alochol because I am allergic to alcohol)
This is year 2009 Xmas Night
The only full body shot of mine in year 2009
End of year 2009
Then the weight suddenly came flying back to me by March 2010 which I put on unconsciously around 15kg.. which was a very bad thing because I am putting on weight too fast. I also met my current boyfriend (who also put on weight ever since we got together,sigh!) around then, and over the years put on even more weight..probably because of the increased food intake.
This was us when we first got together in 2010.
Now in 2013, I am a size UK 14-16, sometimes 18 for smaller cuts and can you please imagine my pain in buying clothes and dressing up? My gfs complained that I am always in black dresses, black tops, black skirts, black pants and ALWAYS IN BLACK, well truth being I am really very uncomfortable in colourful clothes. My family especially my parents have been nagging over the years that I am growing bigger, and I should cut down on food intake or do more exercises.. I swear I tried and failed, very disappointing I know, because no one is being more disappointed than me.
The truth is I did not have much of a motivation and determination and I LOVE FOOD VERY VERY MUCH. I had to work to earn my own money and attend school and projects, and also I was running very low on $$ to purchase any more programs or products that at times I wish I can just write in and beg someone to sponsor me the products or programs and I will give them the rights to publish/write about my progress for their advertising or marketing needs for FREE if it truly works and shown. But no I did not manage to find the courage to do so except for today now after so many years of procrastinating, I want to be a better me, I got enough of it! If there is anyone out there who is willing to take a chance on me, I am willing to listen, to do and work my best because I really need help!
Losing weight to be seemed so impossible and no matter what I do, I just only gain and gain and GAIN weight! I will also let on to another health issue that weigh gain has caused me.. which is irregular menstrual that I went to see a private gynae who gave me some advices to lose weight and to be on a pill which I lost 4 kgs and had a monthly abnormal period which only last a day or two. After 1 year of being on the pill, I decided to stop the pill because I read that some girls actually died because of this pill and it was banned in some countries since 2013. I am glad that I managed to have my very first normal 5-6 days period the month after I stopped the pill since March 2013 and during this 1 year I have maintained the lost of 4kgs.
Many have given up hope on me, many told me just be me and stop worrying.
But for my sake, for myself, I would like to make a change.
If you know any diets or exercise regime you can advise me on without heading to the gym if possible* as I am too embarrassed still (sorry I have very low self- esteem at the moment).. email me at miixue@gmail.com <3
Labels: fat, losing weight, tcm, weight gain, weight programs, weight treatments
Old things | New things
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